angsty songsty

to be hurt, to feel lost
to be left out in the dark
to be kicked when you're down
to feel like you're pushed around
to be on the edge of breaking down
and no one's there to save you

no you dont know what its like
welcome to my life



it'd be nice to say 'life sux'
but if you know which side of life to live in usually life is quite ok

life sux
ok maybe just yours

by the way the lyrics suck so there you go wHaT IrOnY

upset

ok
got cancelled on today
it felt... painful
disappointing
but somehow i kinda expected it
i never had a chance anyway
oh well...
at least my books dont cancel on me

zao school again

Today I skipped school. I’m at home while all my friends are in school. though it’s the last few days of school and ppl are probably busy snapping photos for keepsake I don’t really mind. Its easy to have memories of ppl but what is the point really if they are just memories? Sentimentalities are bothersome. Its better to make the effort to catch up with ppl now and again rather than just look at old photos and reminisce. Of course it will have to come to some destination in life when catching up is just too difficult cos of lifestyle and marriage whatnot, well in that case what are the chances that we’ll look back on jc anyway? It’d have just become a redundancy in the already manifold experiences of our lives by that time. Still… its nice to remember and get warm fuzzy feeling. Provided there are ppl you’d want to remember that badly. Mish lee said I was sentimental cos I decided to keep the paper napkin from (probably) the last formal class gathering in school we’d have. Actually I kept it cos it had this really pretty floral print, so there.

In a way though it really feels strange to be leaving school, as if leaving a womb and emerging into the real (and unsheltered) world all of a sudden. School now feels like this great big umbrella that shields you from the external, and I think many ppl are going to have a tough time trying to readapt to a lifestyle where not everything is provided for you in one neat, conglomerated package. See in school we can have food friends fun and be teacher-fed notes homework guidelines everything. We become dependent by default. What the poodle is the good of school then? When (if ever) we find a job we’ll have to do things on our own – and gosh I can just imagine some of the class trying to find their way through life. They will get lost lost lost! Then again. They are supposed to FIND their way. Its not as life is laid out like a red carpet ahead of us… and that is the problem with school, because it paves our route through adolescence and education… and that is the real danger. Don’t get caught.


Human mock on Wednesday morning.
Physical mock on Friday morning.
E1 mock is on Monday morning.
Kusu OJT is on Sunday night.
Baccalaureate is on Thursday night.
Stayover on Thursday night.
A levels in four weeks time.
I haven't finished anything.
I need to get tickets for ballet under the stars.
diediedie.

socked

today I stole a SOCK.

Not even both sides.

Just a sock, and its blue and red with pink trim yeehah. I don’t even know why I did it except perhaps because I could, and I wanted to prove the useless security in jb to, well, the citizens of jb. How lame. And its not even a PRETTY or nearly any GOOD QUALITY sock.

Its just a SOCK in red blue pink.

Gah chihuahua.