Oh terrible, glad shining day.
I can never understand the happiness of birthdays and teachers’ days and oh-lets-be-happy special occasion days. Today ppl were giving the teachers presents and everything feeling so happy-happy and excited and whatnot, and the teachers were all gushy and appreciative and loud laugherty niceties. Why is it always this way? I tried to be around and smiley and happy for the teachers, handing out to them their nice, meaningful, quirky-cute gifts.
But it is hard to keep smiling when you don’t feel it.
If atmosphere is infectious maybe I’m on Panadol.
Well, at least after all that heehaaing some of us went out to Holland V.
Friday, September 03, 2004
Thursday, September 02, 2004
missing something?
Shopping was lousily boring. I wish jb had more men’s clothes shops ard, its so hard to find nice clothes nowadays. Or maybe I’m just becoming so much more finicky about what I wear. My mum said its not that I don’t have enough clothes, its just that I don’t want to wear those that I have. I argued that some of them are really ‘unwearable’ now, that I’ve outgrown that kind of clothing. Looking back now it seems so childish to say that… so I guess I’ve really just becoming a fickle pig. Sigh. In the end only bought one shirt after walking ard for like nearly two hours. Well… to look on the bright side at least I still got some money left haha.
Tmrw is teacher’s day! Happy Teacher’s Day all teachers!! This goes out to all the teachers I know or who have taught me, God bless you all for being there and being, even if not beacons, at least markers to guide our way. To Mr Ngoei, Mr Lynn, ms Ganga, mrs Cref, ms Leow and my all-time fav ms Netty (who’s getting married this sat! I’m so happy for you!!!). And yes even ms Koh who forced me to get my hair massacred by the school barber, you taught me patience and the moral rightness of not strangling you to death and tying your putrid corpulence to a ceiling fan.
So thank you all. Tmrw is your Day.
I will not go to school.
Going out by myself is so bland.
But I cant stop now now
I’ve got troubles of my own
Because I’m short on time
I’m lonely and I’m too tired to talk
Keane Cant Stop Now
Sometimes the last thing on my mind is to find that someone.
Tmrw is teacher’s day! Happy Teacher’s Day all teachers!! This goes out to all the teachers I know or who have taught me, God bless you all for being there and being, even if not beacons, at least markers to guide our way. To Mr Ngoei, Mr Lynn, ms Ganga, mrs Cref, ms Leow and my all-time fav ms Netty (who’s getting married this sat! I’m so happy for you!!!). And yes even ms Koh who forced me to get my hair massacred by the school barber, you taught me patience and the moral rightness of not strangling you to death and tying your putrid corpulence to a ceiling fan.
So thank you all. Tmrw is your Day.
I will not go to school.
Going out by myself is so bland.
But I cant stop now now
I’ve got troubles of my own
Because I’m short on time
I’m lonely and I’m too tired to talk
Keane Cant Stop Now
Sometimes the last thing on my mind is to find that someone.
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
10 reasons I am an idiot
1. I miss my only reefwalk OJT
2. I fail my prelims
3. I go to orchard and sit in the library the whole day for two days in a row. On a weekend
4. I laugh too much which makes ppl think I am generally insane
5. I pretend that I am smart by being in AH
6. I loiter outside a women’s boutique trying to figure out whether it is actually a men’s boutique. A men’s boutique?
7. I am broke cos I’m stashing money to buy a 500 buck phone. I can buy 22 shirts in JB with that money.
8. I am going shopping tmrw to make myself feel better about being broke and stupid
9. I don’t have enough brain cells to think of the last reason
10. and the last last reason
2. I fail my prelims
3. I go to orchard and sit in the library the whole day for two days in a row. On a weekend
4. I laugh too much which makes ppl think I am generally insane
5. I pretend that I am smart by being in AH
6. I loiter outside a women’s boutique trying to figure out whether it is actually a men’s boutique. A men’s boutique?
7. I am broke cos I’m stashing money to buy a 500 buck phone. I can buy 22 shirts in JB with that money.
8. I am going shopping tmrw to make myself feel better about being broke and stupid
9. I don’t have enough brain cells to think of the last reason
10. and the last last reason
the most important thing tmrw (which i forgot)
Just realized that tmrw morning I’ve got a Reefguide training on!!
Oh shit… I think I’m really screwed this time. Supposed to meet at collyer quay at 6am… well its already one thirty now. how am i to get to collyer quay from JB at this time??! To get there on time I need to be able to buy a bomb, because it will cost a bomb to get a cab in the middle of the night from my house to customs then woodlands to collyer quay…I feel so stupid! I feel like I’m letting the whole team of organisers and ppl going for the reefwalk down. And most of all letting myself down. I wish I could somehow get there on time (and have revised enough of the notes, but I cant cos I haven't downloaded them yet). This is already meant to be the make-up OnJobTraining!! I don’t think there’ll be a next anymore.
So probably my Reefguide ambitions end here, unless by some miracle I can catch up with practical training while dealing with As themselves. But I think not. Screwed.
Supposed to make it to official Nparks guide status (or something like that) by end of this year…
but now no more liao…
whywhywhywhy did I forget, I even wrote it in my notebook.
I am feeling frustrated at 1.40 in the morning, hooray. The potential reefguides will meet in 4hrs and 20mins time. I will not be among them. Hoooray. Great to be me.
Oh shit… I think I’m really screwed this time. Supposed to meet at collyer quay at 6am… well its already one thirty now. how am i to get to collyer quay from JB at this time??! To get there on time I need to be able to buy a bomb, because it will cost a bomb to get a cab in the middle of the night from my house to customs then woodlands to collyer quay…I feel so stupid! I feel like I’m letting the whole team of organisers and ppl going for the reefwalk down. And most of all letting myself down. I wish I could somehow get there on time (and have revised enough of the notes, but I cant cos I haven't downloaded them yet). This is already meant to be the make-up OnJobTraining!! I don’t think there’ll be a next anymore.
So probably my Reefguide ambitions end here, unless by some miracle I can catch up with practical training while dealing with As themselves. But I think not. Screwed.
Supposed to make it to official Nparks guide status (or something like that) by end of this year…
but now no more liao…
whywhywhywhy did I forget, I even wrote it in my notebook.
I am feeling frustrated at 1.40 in the morning, hooray. The potential reefguides will meet in 4hrs and 20mins time. I will not be among them. Hoooray. Great to be me.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
postprelimpostpostpost
Yay finally prelims are over. Now we wait for the results to come back so that the teachers can tell us how badly we’ve done. But its ok I guess, I think I’ll need to get down to some serious studying especially for econs and maths if I’m gonna even have a chance of passing As.
And to stop thinking about her and get my own life in order. Sometimes I think I’m getting lost again, but then isn't that how its supposed to feel? I really don’t know… I get more confused everyday… therefore I think the best policy is to just stop thinking about it altogether.
In the last few days I decided not to expect too much. If two ppl are chanced to meet, then so be it, I’m not gonna go running about and chucking aside what I’m doing just to be with someone I hardly even talk to face to face.
I dreamt of her once. She was looking at me with those lovely feline bright sharp eyes of hers. She said something along the lines of ‘hey you better do something soon. You’re running out of time.’
Something like that.
This was, what, two months ago? Between then and now I’ve been training for nationals, going for asean, mugging madly for prelims, and taking the prelims themselves. I think, if the dream portends rightly, I have Run Out Of Time.
So. I think I will Get My Life Into Order.
That is my goal now.
Screw relationships.
Tomorrow I’m going shopping!! Hopefully I actually buy something this time. Everytime I go out intending to expand my (limited) wardrobe I end up visiting many many shops and buying nothing nothing. Stupid.
So far I have 1 orange shirt 2 green shirts 1 white shirt and many black shirts. Not counting tees cos I cant stand wearing tees, they make me feel like a miscreant escaped from nus medical centre.
Tmrw! I hope to return with some proper clothes. Hooray anyways cos I love shopping. Today when I went out to City Square I loitered outside this shop wondering if I should go in or not, cos it kinda looked like it was selling guys apparel but all the mannequins were female. So I loitered around glancing into the shop filled with female mannequins and maybe-guy-apparel hoping I wasn’t looking like a perv. Some of the store clerks were staring at me. Some of the people walking around inside the shop were looking my way. lalala quickly walked away...
I wonder if Betty still wants to come over and shop… hmmm was wondering that on the way home. Better ask her soon before her holiday schedule gets filled out with whatever she does.
And to stop thinking about her and get my own life in order. Sometimes I think I’m getting lost again, but then isn't that how its supposed to feel? I really don’t know… I get more confused everyday… therefore I think the best policy is to just stop thinking about it altogether.
In the last few days I decided not to expect too much. If two ppl are chanced to meet, then so be it, I’m not gonna go running about and chucking aside what I’m doing just to be with someone I hardly even talk to face to face.
I dreamt of her once. She was looking at me with those lovely feline bright sharp eyes of hers. She said something along the lines of ‘hey you better do something soon. You’re running out of time.’
Something like that.
This was, what, two months ago? Between then and now I’ve been training for nationals, going for asean, mugging madly for prelims, and taking the prelims themselves. I think, if the dream portends rightly, I have Run Out Of Time.
So. I think I will Get My Life Into Order.
That is my goal now.
Screw relationships.
Tomorrow I’m going shopping!! Hopefully I actually buy something this time. Everytime I go out intending to expand my (limited) wardrobe I end up visiting many many shops and buying nothing nothing. Stupid.
So far I have 1 orange shirt 2 green shirts 1 white shirt and many black shirts. Not counting tees cos I cant stand wearing tees, they make me feel like a miscreant escaped from nus medical centre.
Tmrw! I hope to return with some proper clothes. Hooray anyways cos I love shopping. Today when I went out to City Square I loitered outside this shop wondering if I should go in or not, cos it kinda looked like it was selling guys apparel but all the mannequins were female. So I loitered around glancing into the shop filled with female mannequins and maybe-guy-apparel hoping I wasn’t looking like a perv. Some of the store clerks were staring at me. Some of the people walking around inside the shop were looking my way. lalala quickly walked away...
I wonder if Betty still wants to come over and shop… hmmm was wondering that on the way home. Better ask her soon before her holiday schedule gets filled out with whatever she does.
Monday, August 30, 2004
weekend in e library
From today, we’ve got ten weeks to As, which makes for about a week a subject including s paper and that’s cutting it close for the weaker subjects… nobody really seems bothered abt it tho, at least not enough to actually contemplate real studying. We’re having a class outing tmrw to Kallang SSC to bowl, for goodness sake! And E8 isnt even over yet.
Went out myself the past two days. Felt kinda lonely and truthfully quite pathetic. No money to really spend. In town there’s really only two things to do. Generally, it’d be either spending money, or going to the library. Or yah actually there’s also window shopping but then its never really window shopping is it… I always end up buying something. I bought two cds yay!! Keane’s hopes and dreams and incubus’ fungus amongus… wow so surprised to find fungus amongus at all! Its like incubus’ first album and so old already… anyway I thank God for leading me to that wonderful shop Gramophone in paragon, and so that I could save $8 on cds. Everybody, let’s welcome the new Teen Choice music store of 2004/2005… go to gramophone… without music life would be a mistake… gramophone singapore pls pay me premiums for advertising for you…
Keane is so good!!!! His voice is like coffee cream!!! Omigods I cant get enough of Somewhere Only We Know right now… I would prob cry listening to it if I let myself… MMMMmMMmMmmmmhh!!! So bone-achingly haunting, so sweetly anguished, the tenets of intangible sorrow and joy wrapped up in verse and voice, chord and cymbal. Every cent I spent on him is worth it.
Everyone, please go buy keane. And an econopack of tissue.
Being out by myself let me learn two things. Being content is being happy in the things you do, no matter what you think your friends may say if they knew or how the people immediately around you may look at you. Like staying in the library for two days straight. In the middle of orchard. (Orchard! Ppl will gasp. You mean u go all the way to orchard just to sit in the library for hours and hours and hours!? Yes, do that did I) There is a peace in books, a peace that does not come with wrangling over prices in shops, or imagining urself in those clothes you could never afford, or walking past cafes selling coffee that would rightly burn a hole in your wallet and then carry on eating up ur pocket until u’re left clutching your zipper to your undies and there’s two weird cloth rings around your ankles. Industrial strength Fabric-Eating Coffee!! Rejoice one and all. Anyways, sitting in the library is very soothing, with the right book, I was reading Vacuum Diagrams by stephen baxter, and I wouldn’t mind staying there the whole day if my butt dint start aching after an hour of sitting down.
Can u imagine ppl study at orchard library? They bring their books and sit down on the floor and start doing work at the cushioned benches lining the glass walls. Gosh I just feel like kicking them and feeding their bloody homework into the book return slot. Cant they see the study culture only extends around the café galilee tables? The benches are for my ass and other readers’ asses, not for your vision-impaired homework business…
Today I did a good deed. I helped this promotion girl in cold storage to move a tv set. It was part of her promotion gig and she was struggling to move it into a trolley. So I came up and said hey can I help u with that and she smiled with relief, then I moved it back onto the table and stood there adjusting it to face forwards. Only then she told me she was trying to move it into the trolley. I think at this point I made a strangled noise and looked at the ceiling, but I cant really remember cos I think my brain melted in the heat of embarrassment. But oh my gosh she was so pretty!! She had that kind of perfect apple face and flawless skin (haha but I could see where the foundation was a bit uneven so it wasn’t really flawless). I could say things about the length of her skirt too… it was way way too short. But I gotta admit she was really pretty… but when she thanked me for my help suddenly my regard of her dropped a few degrees, no pun intended. she went ‘Tang Kiu!’ in a super ahlian act cute wannabe tone and beamed at me. But I was already walking away and said ‘that’s alright’ and grinned as casually as possible. Maybe it was surprise… or disgust. I dunno. She looked very intelligent (and pretty), but somehow the ahlian inflection in that ‘thank you’ just warped her into a shallow mindedness I dint expect. A bit later while walking ard cold storage I saw her again cos she ended shift. She’d changed into a calf length skirt, and she saw me too. Somehow she dint look so pretty anymore.
Went out myself the past two days. Felt kinda lonely and truthfully quite pathetic. No money to really spend. In town there’s really only two things to do. Generally, it’d be either spending money, or going to the library. Or yah actually there’s also window shopping but then its never really window shopping is it… I always end up buying something. I bought two cds yay!! Keane’s hopes and dreams and incubus’ fungus amongus… wow so surprised to find fungus amongus at all! Its like incubus’ first album and so old already… anyway I thank God for leading me to that wonderful shop Gramophone in paragon, and so that I could save $8 on cds. Everybody, let’s welcome the new Teen Choice music store of 2004/2005… go to gramophone… without music life would be a mistake… gramophone singapore pls pay me premiums for advertising for you…
Keane is so good!!!! His voice is like coffee cream!!! Omigods I cant get enough of Somewhere Only We Know right now… I would prob cry listening to it if I let myself… MMMMmMMmMmmmmhh!!! So bone-achingly haunting, so sweetly anguished, the tenets of intangible sorrow and joy wrapped up in verse and voice, chord and cymbal. Every cent I spent on him is worth it.
Everyone, please go buy keane. And an econopack of tissue.
Being out by myself let me learn two things. Being content is being happy in the things you do, no matter what you think your friends may say if they knew or how the people immediately around you may look at you. Like staying in the library for two days straight. In the middle of orchard. (Orchard! Ppl will gasp. You mean u go all the way to orchard just to sit in the library for hours and hours and hours!? Yes, do that did I) There is a peace in books, a peace that does not come with wrangling over prices in shops, or imagining urself in those clothes you could never afford, or walking past cafes selling coffee that would rightly burn a hole in your wallet and then carry on eating up ur pocket until u’re left clutching your zipper to your undies and there’s two weird cloth rings around your ankles. Industrial strength Fabric-Eating Coffee!! Rejoice one and all. Anyways, sitting in the library is very soothing, with the right book, I was reading Vacuum Diagrams by stephen baxter, and I wouldn’t mind staying there the whole day if my butt dint start aching after an hour of sitting down.
Can u imagine ppl study at orchard library? They bring their books and sit down on the floor and start doing work at the cushioned benches lining the glass walls. Gosh I just feel like kicking them and feeding their bloody homework into the book return slot. Cant they see the study culture only extends around the café galilee tables? The benches are for my ass and other readers’ asses, not for your vision-impaired homework business…
Today I did a good deed. I helped this promotion girl in cold storage to move a tv set. It was part of her promotion gig and she was struggling to move it into a trolley. So I came up and said hey can I help u with that and she smiled with relief, then I moved it back onto the table and stood there adjusting it to face forwards. Only then she told me she was trying to move it into the trolley. I think at this point I made a strangled noise and looked at the ceiling, but I cant really remember cos I think my brain melted in the heat of embarrassment. But oh my gosh she was so pretty!! She had that kind of perfect apple face and flawless skin (haha but I could see where the foundation was a bit uneven so it wasn’t really flawless). I could say things about the length of her skirt too… it was way way too short. But I gotta admit she was really pretty… but when she thanked me for my help suddenly my regard of her dropped a few degrees, no pun intended. she went ‘Tang Kiu!’ in a super ahlian act cute wannabe tone and beamed at me. But I was already walking away and said ‘that’s alright’ and grinned as casually as possible. Maybe it was surprise… or disgust. I dunno. She looked very intelligent (and pretty), but somehow the ahlian inflection in that ‘thank you’ just warped her into a shallow mindedness I dint expect. A bit later while walking ard cold storage I saw her again cos she ended shift. She’d changed into a calf length skirt, and she saw me too. Somehow she dint look so pretty anymore.
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