“Dear lady, I’ll happily accept your rules.”
“But you don’t seem to want any rules!”
“True. But I will accept any rules that you feel necessary to your freedom. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I will tolerate them. If I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.”
“You would not abide by a law that the majority felt was necessary?”
“Tell me what law, dear lady, and I will tell you whether I will obey it.”
-- Robert A Heinlein ‘The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress’
And that Heinlein writes good sf is UnDeNiaBle…. Grab this book if u can because it is good…
Saturday, December 11, 2004
no go
The Incredibles is so cute!!
To have watched it only at this time probably puts me in ‘Deprived’ status. Or ‘Tragic’. Oh chihuahuas what does it matter.
Anyway I’m running out of money. Just got a 70 buck phone bill for oct and nov ughugharghpffffft. This is too much. Too much! I’m spending too much! Get a job! 28 days more!
On Channel Newsasia now
George Harrison’s guitar for half a million
Keith Richard’s guitar for 400k
And Britney spears’ high school book report with her teacher’s remark ‘Proof read – messy’
On auction at Christy’s. What. Why ppl do dumb things is probably cos we have an inbuilt faculty for irrationality. Hence the basic econs assumption that man is rational is, like, totally stupid.
Dear Lord please take care of joshy he is sick with fever, bless him and keep him safe and let him get well soon.
To have watched it only at this time probably puts me in ‘Deprived’ status. Or ‘Tragic’. Oh chihuahuas what does it matter.
Anyway I’m running out of money. Just got a 70 buck phone bill for oct and nov ughugharghpffffft. This is too much. Too much! I’m spending too much! Get a job! 28 days more!
On Channel Newsasia now
George Harrison’s guitar for half a million
Keith Richard’s guitar for 400k
And Britney spears’ high school book report with her teacher’s remark ‘Proof read – messy’
On auction at Christy’s. What. Why ppl do dumb things is probably cos we have an inbuilt faculty for irrationality. Hence the basic econs assumption that man is rational is, like, totally stupid.
Dear Lord please take care of joshy he is sick with fever, bless him and keep him safe and let him get well soon.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
over before the night has begun
And now that the prom is long past it is easier to look back. Now that certain feelings have dampened it feels easier to reason and look ahead…like so many opportunities gone by they never come back but lie like broken branches, or empty trousers of possibles and maybes. I guess that will just have to be that, all I have fret about is my ageless stupidity and naivete… quoth Albert Einstein ‘There are two things which are infinite – the universe, and human stupidity… and we’re not very sure about the universe.’
Well. Prom itself wasn’t so bad. Thank you dear counsellors Jasmine Ian Hui Brian Malley for the seat and the privileged table haha :D
The food… had some jellyfish (my fav!) from the first course and some of joshua’s dessert which was the last course heh.
The dance… strangely unsatisfaying, probably from having to watch someone else in the spotlight. I have a fat egopoligothingo
Haha even danced with khamil during caleb’s song item… so funny, we arranged it earlier during rhrsl that khamil & I and joshy & wayne would go up during the song and make a fool of ourselves. Which I think worked perfectly and got lots of amusement from the ppl and the vip table haha :D
Took lots of pics too! But on other ppl’s cameras ah!! Not having a camera at such events is like not wearing underwear… you just feel awkward the whole night and walk around looking just distracted. Anw gotta find some way to find ppl and get them to send their pics to me heh.
And after all that… went to zouk for my virgin clubbing experience. And it was ok… so-so… got bored after about an hour cos there really are only so many different ways these flesh chassis can move. Argh. Later hearing dawn and eulyn comment it was quite good wasn’t it I went hmmm ok I’d better revise my thinking. Haha but it was fun being with friends. And meeting ppls again. And being able to let loose with ppl who are equally liberal. Yum. Compared to club dancing choreoed dance is just pure stuffy.
Then again… actually not… choreo has its subtleties and highs and troughs every move for every bitty beat. Like a rollercoaster where you know when to scream for the dive and whoop at the loops and chill along the smooth bends… but always on a track, always on constancy set out like the guide rail. Club dance is like riding a fast bike and you choose when to go slow and when to go fast and to take the highway or the street, and then find a girl to ride with and match her pace. Felt something like that. Virgin experience. Yup.
And I don’t intend to stop at once.
And later had supper and howard was drunk and hilarious to watch him. And xw got lost and threw tied into knots. Gosh just panic and cold fear at four am wishing he was safe and sound… thank God he was…
Went out for a late night/early morning walk with my darlings michy and dawn… just being relaxed and open, the way that few other ppl can understand. Sometimes I think ppl are so syndromically uptight they can never understand harmless affection, or take forms of it as overtures or horizontal desires. Dumb. What would I do without the darlings in my life who make it all worthwhile…
And… was that you crying? Was that you drunk? In trouble? I don’t know and I don’t know how to find out or from whom or even if I’m entitled to feel concerned… I don’t even know if I should be so bothered, not any more.
What constitutes this… this… fixation anyway? Sigh. Its easy to be a fool.
But its hard to see when one actually is.
8th dec 2004 2355
Well. Prom itself wasn’t so bad. Thank you dear counsellors Jasmine Ian Hui Brian Malley for the seat and the privileged table haha :D
The food… had some jellyfish (my fav!) from the first course and some of joshua’s dessert which was the last course heh.
The dance… strangely unsatisfaying, probably from having to watch someone else in the spotlight. I have a fat egopoligothingo
Haha even danced with khamil during caleb’s song item… so funny, we arranged it earlier during rhrsl that khamil & I and joshy & wayne would go up during the song and make a fool of ourselves. Which I think worked perfectly and got lots of amusement from the ppl and the vip table haha :D
Took lots of pics too! But on other ppl’s cameras ah!! Not having a camera at such events is like not wearing underwear… you just feel awkward the whole night and walk around looking just distracted. Anw gotta find some way to find ppl and get them to send their pics to me heh.
And after all that… went to zouk for my virgin clubbing experience. And it was ok… so-so… got bored after about an hour cos there really are only so many different ways these flesh chassis can move. Argh. Later hearing dawn and eulyn comment it was quite good wasn’t it I went hmmm ok I’d better revise my thinking. Haha but it was fun being with friends. And meeting ppls again. And being able to let loose with ppl who are equally liberal. Yum. Compared to club dancing choreoed dance is just pure stuffy.
Then again… actually not… choreo has its subtleties and highs and troughs every move for every bitty beat. Like a rollercoaster where you know when to scream for the dive and whoop at the loops and chill along the smooth bends… but always on a track, always on constancy set out like the guide rail. Club dance is like riding a fast bike and you choose when to go slow and when to go fast and to take the highway or the street, and then find a girl to ride with and match her pace. Felt something like that. Virgin experience. Yup.
And I don’t intend to stop at once.
And later had supper and howard was drunk and hilarious to watch him. And xw got lost and threw tied into knots. Gosh just panic and cold fear at four am wishing he was safe and sound… thank God he was…
Went out for a late night/early morning walk with my darlings michy and dawn… just being relaxed and open, the way that few other ppl can understand. Sometimes I think ppl are so syndromically uptight they can never understand harmless affection, or take forms of it as overtures or horizontal desires. Dumb. What would I do without the darlings in my life who make it all worthwhile…
And… was that you crying? Was that you drunk? In trouble? I don’t know and I don’t know how to find out or from whom or even if I’m entitled to feel concerned… I don’t even know if I should be so bothered, not any more.
What constitutes this… this… fixation anyway? Sigh. Its easy to be a fool.
But its hard to see when one actually is.
8th dec 2004 2355
Monday, December 06, 2004
decadence suidecide
the last day of practice today
wah i feel so tired cos i slept too late last night >_<
Weeeeelllll…..
Should I turn up for prom?
As it is I can either hide in our room or go shopping til someone calls me for the dance. Which is so pathetic. Or go down and be severely self-conscious while pretending a butt-ugly extension of the chair. If I even get a chair. Haiz see how la.
Sigh and then it’d be another social exercise. And chihuahuas I’d be so underdressed while everyone will be in their crisp cut jackets and expensive shirts here I am writing in my diary not knowing wat to wear.
Gonna have to dig around in my wardrobe later… and call some ppl to borrow stuff hahaha.
But haha so excited about tmrw’s dance… just hope all goes well and I remember my steps… and hafta lug the stupid scooter all the way to the ritz bleargh. Oh no I’m becoming so selfish… ok I hope EVERYONE remembers their steps, and please not get injured and the person riding my scooter not fall off. Hehehe cos the steering handle is kinda not functioning. Hehehe. But yeah we’re gonna be the biggest thing tmrw nite. Awrite. Awrite. Pink I’m gonna be in pink weeee!! Even have pink laces mwahahaha!! Yea and bought new earrings today so happy!
Its getting late.
Wayne and khamil looked dead tired today… hope they sleep early today and get better for tmrw.
Rummage for clothes
Pack
Sleep
6th dec 2004 2134
wah i feel so tired cos i slept too late last night >_<
Weeeeelllll…..
Should I turn up for prom?
As it is I can either hide in our room or go shopping til someone calls me for the dance. Which is so pathetic. Or go down and be severely self-conscious while pretending a butt-ugly extension of the chair. If I even get a chair. Haiz see how la.
Sigh and then it’d be another social exercise. And chihuahuas I’d be so underdressed while everyone will be in their crisp cut jackets and expensive shirts here I am writing in my diary not knowing wat to wear.
Gonna have to dig around in my wardrobe later… and call some ppl to borrow stuff hahaha.
But haha so excited about tmrw’s dance… just hope all goes well and I remember my steps… and hafta lug the stupid scooter all the way to the ritz bleargh. Oh no I’m becoming so selfish… ok I hope EVERYONE remembers their steps, and please not get injured and the person riding my scooter not fall off. Hehehe cos the steering handle is kinda not functioning. Hehehe. But yeah we’re gonna be the biggest thing tmrw nite. Awrite. Awrite. Pink I’m gonna be in pink weeee!! Even have pink laces mwahahaha!! Yea and bought new earrings today so happy!
Its getting late.
Wayne and khamil looked dead tired today… hope they sleep early today and get better for tmrw.
Rummage for clothes
Pack
Sleep
6th dec 2004 2134
oooh yeah shoppadelic
today went shopping with joshy for his prom stuff…
his dad tells him ‘just don’t spend too much, not more than a thousand’
if my cheeks could stretch my jaw would have hit the floor.
Chihuahuas!!
But oh oh OHmigosh… haven't been out shopping for sososoLONG!!!!! I miss the smell of aircon corridors and fresh beautiful clothes and shoes and pretty ppl on the streets so much… I feel like I just came out of prison. Come to think of it I cant even remember the last time I’ve been to town, so obsessed with notes and studying and dance and track one after another after the next. Must’ve been months goodness….
Anyway yeah baby I’m back!
I feel like myself again. Yea.
Haven't spent so much time out in a long time… and hey today was a great day of sushi (yum!) with great friends (yumyum!!) joshy melf pat nagesh… I feel so blessed I have ppl to be about with and laugh with and be stupid with and we understand each other’s idiosyncrasies and everything… Dear Lord thank you for giving me this life, and for giving me these people Lord, and please bless them and keep them safe. Your grace is sufficient for us Lord, for in You we, who are weak, are made strong, and I thank You for everything and everyday Lord.
Amen.
his dad tells him ‘just don’t spend too much, not more than a thousand’
if my cheeks could stretch my jaw would have hit the floor.
Chihuahuas!!
But oh oh OHmigosh… haven't been out shopping for sososoLONG!!!!! I miss the smell of aircon corridors and fresh beautiful clothes and shoes and pretty ppl on the streets so much… I feel like I just came out of prison. Come to think of it I cant even remember the last time I’ve been to town, so obsessed with notes and studying and dance and track one after another after the next. Must’ve been months goodness….
Anyway yeah baby I’m back!
I feel like myself again. Yea.
Haven't spent so much time out in a long time… and hey today was a great day of sushi (yum!) with great friends (yumyum!!) joshy melf pat nagesh… I feel so blessed I have ppl to be about with and laugh with and be stupid with and we understand each other’s idiosyncrasies and everything… Dear Lord thank you for giving me this life, and for giving me these people Lord, and please bless them and keep them safe. Your grace is sufficient for us Lord, for in You we, who are weak, are made strong, and I thank You for everything and everyday Lord.
Amen.
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