huh!?

I'm kinda confused right now, and I feel pretty entitled to it. While I saw it coming and was generally approving of the match, what i didn't expect was the when and in what manner. It was pleasant to know the two of you fit like peas in a pod, and i was glad that he liked you so much to get together that soon... but. Wasn't something missing? ie, telling me about it? You could tell me 'oh, cos I wasn't sure mah...' and you'd expect me to believe you...you, Miss Self-Confident, I-Always-Know-Whats-Happening, and who once chided me for not being able to see things (eg your affection?) that are right in front of me? I feel somewhat betrayed in the manner of events...

But then again. It was an open relationship, and while I could have, I shouldn't expect too much especially in retrospect. I do feel like I disappointed you, in what I could not give you. I do feel I led you on for a bit too long, in my own semi-reciprocity. But now, I just wish you happiness, peace and contentment, and that he treasures you for all the specialness that you are. I can say I loved you in my own way... but only he could give you that full-blown romantic love, that spiritual comfort, that musical passion..

And though things might never go back to the way they were between us before our episode, I wish that we remain friends.